So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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