you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
