you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize