No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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