Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
