I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
