He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize