Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
