dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
