You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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