How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think my vagina is haunted
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
