so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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