but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize