Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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