Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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