Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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