the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
