shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize