perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
