Hey man sorry I got all grabby
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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