Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
