I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
