I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
