So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
