I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize