We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize