Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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