my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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