yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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