You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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