he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
