Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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