guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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