I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
