I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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