How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Drunk is a universal language darling
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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