I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
