I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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