just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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