your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
