I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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