Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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