We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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