the new term for farting is butt boxing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
