U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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