I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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