I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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