Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
