JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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