Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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