When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
