once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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