Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
