I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I sprained my soul last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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