is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
